Saints: A Reverse Harem Bully Romance (Pawns of Patience Book 2) Page 10

  “Okay. Okay.” He says it twice like he can’t actually believe we’re doing this. I can relate. “Are you ready to see the view that makes Churchill Point the prettiest place in Patience?”

  I nod again, not quite trusting my voice to speak yet. I’m trying to let myself be open to this, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t still a part of me that wants to blurt out what a mistake this might be. If Patrick was threatened by me before, how do I know that won’t happen again? I don’t. Which is exactly the problem. And I’m not sure if it’s a leap of faith I’m ready to take.

  I let him take my hand anyway. He warns me to watch my step as he guides me towards the trees. For a brief second, when it looks like he’s just leading me into the dark woods, I panic and wonder if this whole thing was a trap. Then, he pulls me through to the other side of the heavy foliage, and I get a good look at exactly what we’re doing here.

  “Holy shit,” I breathe out. I’m sure my eyes must widen to a comical size as I try to take it all in at once.

  The lights of the town glisten under the dark sky. The houses in Patience are big enough and far enough apart from each other for the most part that their lights cast shadows over the space between properties, casting an eery glow that feels transcendent to even look at. Like I’ve stepped into another reality with a glow to the world that is somehow both heavenly and sinister at the same time.

  Neema wasn’t exaggerating about the view. This is exactly the kind of place you want to be when you start to fall in love. Not that that’s what I’m doing here. No, love is definitely not on the table. But it’s the kind of place you picture that kind of thing happening, nonetheless.

  “This is really beautiful, Patrick.” I let out a satisfied sigh, really unable to put into words or even thoughts how I’m fully feeling as I stare out at this little piece of the world that I’ve been trying to fit into for these last six months.

  I glance over to find Patrick staring at me instead of the view. “You’re beautiful.” And okay, yes, it’s a super cheesy thing of him to say, but it gives me a warm feeling anyway. I toss the blanket down at our feet and launch myself at him.

  He flinches at the sudden movement, but relaxes against me quickly as I wrap my arms around him, resting my head against his chest as I hug him with both arms. He can’t exactly drop the speaker he’s carrying, but he hugs me back with his free arm. For a second we stand there just like that, his heartbeat in my ear as I stare out at the best view of Patience there is. In return, he rests his cheek against the top of my head, staring out at the same stunning view.

  Something blooms inside of me in that moment. Hope. That even though I don’t have them right this moment, that the answers will come. I might be a big, emotional—and hormonal—mess, but I’m only one small part of a much bigger world. A big world that has to have answers I just haven’t found yet.

  There’s time. No one has given me any ultimatums. If I would have just listened to Smith, he was telling me that all along. There’s room for me to decide. No one’s asking me to decide anything right at this moment. Patrick and Smith both just want a chance. A chance I think I’m willing to give.

  “You know what else is really great about this view?” Patrick breaks the silence. “Look up.”

  I tilt my head back immediately, forcing Patrick to pull his own head back or risk being head-butted. The sky. The sky is… something else. The lights coming off the houses have nothing on the view of the stars shining clear through the night, glowing with a kind of surrealness that makes them look magic.

  Patience might not be a big city, but the size of the houses means a hell of a lot of light comes off of them. All that light obstructs the view of the stars at night. Up until now, I hadn’t found a truly good place to look at the night sky, and now Patrick has given me this place in the form of a very, very sweet gift.

  The night sky looks magic because tonight is magic. There’s no denying I feel something happening here that can’t easily be explained. It feels like my heart is swelling four times bigger than usual, making space for things I thought impossible.

  “We should sit,” I suggest, starting to feel a little drained from all the big emotions working their way through me. Patrick kneels down to fix the blanket he brought, then sits and pats the spot next to him. As I sit, he fiddles with the speaker he brought until it comes to life, playing soft, slow music that adds a whole new layer of depth to this experience.

  I lay back on the blanket, taking in a deep breath as I watch a bright light shoot a streak across the sky. A shooting star. I don’t say anything, wanting to keep it all to myself as I close my eyes for a moment to make a wish.

  I wish this feeling could last forever.

  Patrick lies back next to me, our arms brushing each other as he gets comfortable by my side. I can hear the sound of his breathing mixing with the soft music, and something about it compels me to shift a little closer. I rest my cheek next to his shoulder, leaning into his warmth and breathing in the smell of him all over again.

  We lay there like that for a long time, making contact in the most innocent way possible. Enjoying an unobstructed view of our own little corner of the world.

  “Can I tell you something with it being too weird?” I feel Patrick’s body shift slightly as he turns his head to try to look at me. I keep my own eyes trained on the sky.

  “I guess so,” he says.

  I scoot my arm across the little bit of distance left between mine and his, taking his hand gently as he turns his palm over to lace our fingers together. “I used to do this kind of thing with my friend Jake,” I tell him quietly. “And I really, really miss him.”

  I feel his grip tighten for a split-second. “Just your friend?” I think about all the times when Jake and I were an almost. Almost more than friends. Almost ready to take that risk. Almost ready to talk about it. Jake wasn’t just a friend, he was so much more than that. And yet, he wasn’t. Not really. Because we never got past the almosts.

  “Sometimes Jake was all I had,” I answer, knowing it’s the only possible way for me to answer. Because I don’t know if I could come up with a good explanation for what we had, even if you gave me a million years to do it.

  He seems to mull that over for a while before he finally has another question. “Do you feel guilty about it? You used to do it with him but now you’re doing it with me?”

  I crane my neck back so I can make eye contact this time. I thought I would feel guiltier, if I’m being honest, but the truth is, “No.” This feels like exactly where I’m supposed to be at this particular moment, and with the person I’m supposed to be here with. The consequences of this, whatever they may be, they’ll have to be tomorrow’s problem. For tonight, in this moment, it feels like everything is okay.

  Chapter Eleven

  Salma’s waiting for me when I get to school, her teeth chattering so hard I can hear them even from a few feet away. “Tell me fucking everything! Like, first of all, how the hell did you get two Valentine’s dates and I didn’t even get one?” She exaggerates a pout even though I know she’s only teasing. She flew out of the country for the weekend for a fashion show somewhere in Europe, so she can hardly act like she missed out on anything.

  She loops her arm through mine as we enter the school together. I don’t realize I’m anxiously holding my breath until we get inside and the coast is clear. I let out a long whoosh of air as Salma eyes me, her body still vibrating with energy.

  “Everything felt so good at the time.” Her perfectly manicured eyebrows shoot up. “Not like that.” I roll my eyes at her assumption. She really should know better by now. “Now that I have to see both of them here, I just feel weird. Especially because I know I still have to tell Smith about what happened.” I didn’t talk to him at all yesterday other than one quick text I got from him telling me he was still dealing with family stuff.

  Salma nods thoughtfully. “It is a little weird that you have to tell one boyfriend about hanging out with your
other boyfriend. But then again, two boyfriends!” Even though there are only a handful of stray people getting here as late as we are, I shush her. It would only take one of them to hear her to start a rumor spreading around the school like wildfire.

  “I do not have two boyfriends,” I try to correct her, but she keeps smiling like she knows she’s right.

  “We’re gonna be late,” Salma changes the subject, tapping my watch. It’s the one she bought me, and she grins, seeming pleased by that.

  As we split ways she calls back, “See you at lunch!” Which just reminds me that I’m going to be facing both Patrick and Smith at lunchtime. I’m worried it’s going to be so awkward I have to start sitting somewhere else. I guess at least if that happens I can count on Salma following me to wherever I sit instead. I’ve grown used to sitting with the guys, though. Even Jax, with his weird staring and otherwise complete disregard of me.

  I mean, I do still mentally plot revenge against him every time I see him. Both for the way he trapped me in his bedroom a few weeks ago and for that goddamn stunt he pulled during our history project. I’m still determined to show him some kind of consequence—I just haven’t quite figured out yet what it will be. Every time I think I have an idea, I think of some other way he could turn it around on me instead, and then I question whether I should even be looking for revenge. After all, he has mostly left me alone this semester aside from the thing at his house, and technically I was the one that walked into the “lion’s den,” as he’d called it.

  I’m still thinking about that whole situation when I make it to History. My eyes automatically drift over to where Jax is sitting, but I quickly force myself to look away before I get caught looking. That’s the last fucking thing I need. I’m sure he’d never let me hear the end of it.

  I go to my desk and get settled for class. After a minute, I get a weird feeling, and look up just in time to see Jax at the front of the room talking quietly with our teacher. I watch, curiosity getting the best of me as always, until Jax turns and goes back to his desk and starts gathering his stuff.

  Again, I have to force myself to look away to avoid getting called out for it. But I tap my pen against the desk as I wonder what he could possibly be getting sent out of the room for. Nobody ever punishes Jax for anything here, so it’s strange. It doesn’t take long before I realize I’m wrong. He’s not in trouble and he’s not being sent out of the room.

  Jax slides into the desk next to mine, his dark eyes trained on me as I turn and frown at him. He starts to make himself comfortable. I glance up at the front of the room where Dr. Knight is sitting at his desk waiting for class to officially start. He looks up briefly, scans the room and then returns his attention to the book in his hands. Maybe he doesn’t notice Jax is in the wrong seat, I rationalize. He’ll probably notice any second now.

  “You’re not supposed to be sitting by me,” I remind him. Dr. Knight told me at the beginning of the semester that it was a condition for Jax staying in the class. Jax has been sitting on the other side of the room and the seat next to me has been empty since January.

  “You asked Dr. Knight to move me back to this seat.” Jax grins as I start shaking my head. No, I definitely did not do that. “That’s funny, because that’s what your email to him said.”

  “Are you kidding me? Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?”

  Jax drags his desk several inches across the floor so that he’s close enough to lean all the way up to my ear. “If you really wanted me to leave you alone, why were you moaning in my bedroom only a few weeks ago?”

  I fight back a flush that’s equal parts anger and embarrassment. “I wasn’t moaning.” Okay, maybe just a little but I couldn’t help it! “I was trying to get away from you. And you’re the one that took me into your bedroom. I would have been happy to talk by the front door if you hadn’t been trying to make me leave.”

  “Oh, you were moaning. I’d be happy to remind you all about it later if you want to meet me in the photo lab last period.” He reaches out and tugs a piece of my hair before leaning back again in his seat. It’s such a childish way of teasing me, but it still gets me hot every time. He’s such a fucking jerk, and he needs to grow up.

  “Just leave me alone,” I growl, leaning as far away as I can get from him without falling out of my chair. I really should have known the semi-silent treatment he’d been giving me wouldn’t last.

  Jax doesn’t seem bothered in the least; he never does. “Now, now. Don’t be so hostile. I put a lot of work into making this happen so that you wouldn’t have to miss me anymore.” He grins even wider as he rubs a hand over the facial hair that he still hasn’t shaved. Shit, that’s distracting.

  I tear my eyes away with more effort than I’m proud of. He’s hot. He knows he’s hot. I know he’s hot. It’s a real epidemic, if you ask me.

  “Come on, you can play with Smith and Dupont all you want, but you can’t deny that I can give you something they can’t.” He smirks like he really believes that. Of course he does, he obviously thinks very highly of himself.

  I snort and do some crude guesswork. “Lack of respect? Disregard for sexual consent? An STD?”

  “I do not have an STD!” His voice carries just enough that the people surrounding us turn to stare. Jax’s glare scares them all away except Cece, but that’s only because she’s looking at me and not him.

  “Is there a problem?” Dr. Knight tries to ask, raising his voice above the regular classroom noise. Jax and I both go silent. That must not be good enough for Knight, because I watch him turn at his desk to reach for the phone. The only time he ever does that is when he’s calling for the office when there’s a problem. Crap.

  The way Cece is still looking at me makes me shift uncomfortably in my chair. She’s mostly been ignoring my very existence, so there’s something eery about how full-on she’s looking at me now. Out of nowhere, Cece raises her voice at me, “I thought maybe you were just a bitch, but it turns out you’re a slut, too, and that’s even worse. Are there just not enough dicks in the whole world to satisfy you? Try a gangbang, honey. I’m sure they’ve got those where you’re from.”

  “Excuse me?”

  Cece laughs so loudly she draws the attention of nearly everyone else in our class. I can hear whispering start as they all try to figure out what the hell is going on. Get in line, pals. I have no idea what the fuck is happening, either.

  Jax jumps up from his seat, rattling his whole desk as he shoves it aside like it weighs nothing. “What the fuck did you just say?” But Cece won’t look at him, she just looks around him to keep staring at me with so much hatred in her eyes it makes me nauseous. How is that I spent all of last semester trying to be nice to her and now this is how she’s repaying me? I keep trying to give her the benefit of the doubt because I know she lost her best friend, but this is just going too far.

  “Stay out of it,” I tell Jax, getting out of my seat so I can try to nudge him aside. He doesn’t need to get involved, especially since I don’t want him to have any reason to tell me I owe him later. He doesn’t move, though. His feet are planted wide, his fists clenched by his sides as he completely ignores me. “I don’t know what the problem is, Cece, but I’m not interested in hashing it out right now.”

  “You think you’re so special, but you’re not. I was the one fucking Jax on Valentine’s Day, bitch. Not you.” Well that sure as hell escalated quicker than I was expecting.

  “Congratulations?” I don’t know what she’s expecting me to say. There’s a pang in my chest where there shouldn’t be, but it’s not like I thought I was special to Jax. He seems ready to mount anything that moves.

  It might have been the worst possible thing to say because Cece lunges for me across both of our desks, her hands barely grazing me before Jax is ripping her back. She’s shouting and cursing and carrying on about I don’t even know what. I’m honestly as genuinely perplexed by the whole thing as everyone else in the room is.

  The b
ell for class starts to go off, but that doesn’t stop Cece’s rabid dog routine. Dr. Knight tries to physically step in, putting himself in between Cece and I, but the second Jax starts to let go she comes darting for me all over again. And her shrill voice just keeps getting louder.

  “Enough!” Dr. Knight tries to yell over her, but she’s not budging. She keeps blabbering on even though I can’t even tell what she’s saying anymore at this point. Everyone is staring at us, and now a few phones are making appearances, which means it’s only a matter of time before this is all over the school.

  Dr. Knight steps away, probably to call fucking security at this rate. I just stand there, watching Cece’s face turn a bright, angry red as she hurls insults at me about everything from calling me a slut to accusing me of being a snake in the grass. The whole thing would be laughable if it wasn’t so freaky. She looks possessed, and the more she yells and tries to make a break for me, the angrier Jax seems to get. He’s obviously not into this. I almost want to speak up and tell him that it’s clearly his fault for sleeping with a crazy girl, since that seems to be the center of this whole thing. Now’s probably not the right time.

  There’s a sudden crack that makes the whole room fall silent. At the front of the class, Dr. Knight has hit the desk so hard with a yardstick that the whole thing snapped, the jagged edge still in his hand as the other part clatters to the floor. He’s fuming as he raises his voice at us, “All three of you, get out. Right now. Go see the headmaster.”

  I’m the first one to jump into action, collecting my things and darting out of the room ahead of Jax and Cece, who clearly need to do some talking or something. I don’t know how I ended up in the middle of their little lover’s quarrel, but I’m not interested in continuing out here in the hall. I duck into the first stairwell, knowing they’ll probably take the one at the other end of the hall since it comes out closer to the office.