Truth (Scandals of Banner-Hill Book 1) Page 15

  Why had I done that?

  I looked at my family and thought they were the only ones who wanted me to be a bird in a gilded cage. It turns out I let Dash do the same thing to me. I just didn’t realize it until it was too late to change anything—and yet everything did change.

  Maybe that’s part of what drives me now. I was weak once. I don’t want to be weak again.

  I have something to prove as I step across the tree line.

  I’m not the outdoorsy type. There’s a whole camping special from when I was sixteen that proves that. But I’ve still learned a lot since the last time I was out here. Namely, how to move quietly enough to not be heard.

  I creep through the underbush in near silence. I don’t make it too far into the trees before I hear their voices. Logan didn’t come out here alone—he came out here to meet Killian.

  I bite my lip and admit silent defeat to myself. Considering how they’ve treated me when we’ve been alone, I can only imagine how much worse it could be with the two of them together. I want to be brave—not stupid.

  A branch snaps under the heel of my sandal as I try to turn back.

  “Did you hear that?” Killian’s voice asks.

  I shift away from the branch and drop down to crouch between a pathetic looking bush and a rock that’s only half my size. It’s a shit hiding spot, but it’s the best I can do in my moment of panic. I hold my breath as the guys go silent for a moment.

  Logan breaks the silence with a laugh. “I think sobriety is making you paranoid.”

  “Don’t fucking laugh about that, asshole. I’m still trying to figure out how to get her back for it.” Killian sounds pissed, and I’m pretty sure I know why.

  Logan answers, “I don’t know, kind of seems to me like drugging someone against their will is a fair enough reason for them to make sure you get cut off. You were supposed to be kicking that shit while you’re here anyway. Your mom was thrilled when I talked to her earlier. Lucky for you she was too busy crying tears of joy to remember to ask about the album.”

  Killian mutters something too quietly for me to make out the words.

  I wondered how long it would be before he realized I was to blame for Siobhan cutting him off. I figured he would go on the offensive. I was looking forward to it in a sick kind of way. At least this time, I would have been a little better prepared for him.

  I must admit I am a little surprised to hear Logan doing something that sounds suspiciously like defending me.

  “Let it go, Killian.” Logan sounds exasperated, like they’ve already had this conversation. “Your drug supply is the least of our worries right now.”

  “What now?” Killian sighs.

  “My dad called. Somebody’s been looking into Banner-Hill’s financials. He couldn’t trace who it was, which means they’re good.”

  “You think it’s Nat?”

  “We were here for a month with no issues. Now she shows up, and suddenly there’s someone else snooping around? I don’t think that’s a coincidence.”

  My brow furrows as I lean forward to try to get a look at them through the trees. Logan’s words surprise me. Worse than that, they concern me. Why is his father, the prosecutor, keeping track of who’s looking at this place’s financials? And why is Lawrence Wilder calling his son about it with updates?

  Logan’s relationship with his father has only ever been about one step up from the relationship I have with mine. The man is perpetually disappointed with his demon spawn. He’s dedicated his life to playing the role of the white knight—so has his wife.

  And Logan’s only ever been at risk of tarnishing that reputation.

  “Don’t you think if she knew what you were up to she would have said something by now? The two of you have gotten cozy enough,” Killian says.

  There’s a long silence. I finally manage to find a bare spot through the trees. Just enough of an opening to see Logan punch Killian in the stomach. I wince as Killian doubles over with a groan. Logan leans next to him, a scowl on his face as he forces Killian to look at him.

  “I don’t know where you got this fantasy in your head that Nat and I are riding off into some mythical sunset together. Cut that shit out. I’ve fucked her once, same as you. That’s it.”

  He grumbles something that sounds a hell of a lot like, “She volunteered to fuck you.” He manages to get upright again, his voice a bit more clear as he adds, “It’s not the same.”

  Logan shakes his head. “You could have any pussy you want, and you’re still pining after a girl who only fucked you when she was told to. Next time you see Nat, maybe you should ask for your balls back instead of sticking your dick in her.”

  “Or maybe I’ll ask her for yours,” Killian taunts back.

  The testosterone out here is suffocating. I remind my thumping heart that nothing they’re saying really has anything to do with me. It’s just something for them to talk shit about. They don’t know I’m waiting in the shadows listening to every word. Wishing the two of them would cut the shit and go back to talking about whatever this thing with Logan’s dad is.

  Luck is on my side for once.

  “How mad is your dad that we still haven’t found shit?” Killian asks, changing the subject as if Logan isn’t glaring at him like he’s going to slug him again at any second.

  Logan drops his head back and lets out a strangled groan.

  “He was mad before. Now he’s furious. He’s threatening to pull the plug on all of it. One wrong move, and she goes to her father and ruins everything. It figures. Where Natalie goes, chaos follows.”

  I blow a soft snort out through my nose. If only Logan knew that going to my father is the last thing I’m planning to do.

  Looks like I’m not the only one snooping around at Banner-Hill.

  I’m not sure whether to take it as a good sign or a bad one that it sounds like Logan hasn’t found anything. Right now, the only thing I really have is the money Nick’s guarding. But without more information to connect it to my father, it doesn’t give me much of a leg up on the Wilders.

  Lawrence has to be targeting my father. They had a falling out about six years ago and have hated each other ever since.

  I really wish I’d known Lawrence was digging around before I got involved with Murphy. Lesser of two evils and all. Despite the elder Wilder’s flaws, I could have at least maybe avoided the gross incestuous undertones of dealing with my uncle.

  The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

  “If you played nice for a few days maybe you could get Nat to slip up and admit to whatever she’s doing here. Maybe that would give you something for your dad,” Killian suggests.

  “Yeah, right. She’d probably throw me right under the bus to her daddy once she realized I’m just trying to wrangle my trust fund out of my father’s hands.” Logan makes a frustrated sound and paces a few steps closer to where I’m crouched.

  I stay perfectly still, fully aware that now would be a really, really bad time to be caught eavesdropping.

  “Until we find what we need—or the lawyers tell me how else I can get my hands on my trust fund without my father’s signatory—we need to figure out how to make Natalie a non-entity.” Logan turns to Killian again, and I lament not being able to read his face as he speaks. “You should play her that new track. That would probably scare her right the fuck off.”

  “No,” Killian answers a little too loudly. Much too quickly. “That song is never going to see the light of day. I told you that, so stop talking about it.”

  “Your label’s been bankrolling us, Killian. If they want a song, you’re going to fucking give them one. If it’s not that one, then I guess you’ve got some work to do, huh? Then again, it’s the only song you’ve written since you’ve been here, so I guess none of us should get our hopes up.”

  Logan moves where I can see him again as he continues, “Hey, I know. Fucking Nat the first time seemed to jumpstart your muse again. Maybe give that another swing and see if you can write so
mething this time that doesn’t make you sound like a pathetic little bitch.”

  “You’re giving me a lot of shit for someone who could probably recite the names of every dick she’s touched in the last four years,” Killian snarks.

  “Screw you. I only keep up with that to make sure I know if I need to warn any of my friends away from crawling into bed with a snake.”

  Oh, so Logan’s encouraging Killian to jump me again, but I’m the snake? Hilarious. Truly.

  I knew Logan was mad when I left, but I didn’t realize he skewed the narrative so hard in his mind. After Dash died, he was the one who asked me to stay. Not at Banner-Hill, but with him and Killian.

  I considered his offer, too—until he made sure to mention I owed it to him because he won me fair and square.

  I’d just experienced the worst night of my life, and Logan wanted to make sure I remembered my place. Property. A sex object. Definitely not a living, breathing person with wants and needs of my own.

  He never even asked about Dash. Didn’t acknowledge the fact that I was in the middle of changing my shirt because I was covered in my boyfriend’s blood.

  Dash and Logan were friends the longest. And Logan didn’t even care at all.

  Goosebumps break out over my arms as the guys keep talking.

  “What’s left to check? It feels like you’ve already searched the place from top to bottom,” Killian says.

  “There’s still Banner’s office. Apparently there’s a safe hidden in there somewhere. I just have to figure out how to get in there without getting caught.” Join the club, Logan. “You’re going to have to help me.”

  “Help how?” Based on how horrified Killian sounds by the prospect, I’m guessing this has mostly been a solo mission. Makes sense considering how hard Logan is riding him about finishing songs for his label.

  “We need to find a way to keep Natalie busy so she’s out of the way. Preferably something that doesn’t end up with you on the news for holding her captive.” Logan chuckles, but Killian doesn’t seem to find it funny.

  Hell, from his face, it looks like he’s kind of disappointed by having that particular option off the table.

  The hair on the back of my neck stands to attention. I get being mad—Killian was a casualty of my grief and anger—but to be mad enough to consider something like that? I guess it’s not that far of a leap to go from dragging me into his bathroom to holding me hostage.

  Note to self: avoid being alone with Killian at all costs.

  And also maybe warn Siobhan and Sadie that if I go mysteriously missing, the finger should definitely be pointed in his direction first.

  “This is all so stupid,” Killian grumbles.

  “You’re preaching to the choir.” Logan runs a hand over his short hair, ruffling the dark strands. “But the second I get that money, we can buy you out of your contract and start solving problems instead of making them.” Why would Killian Lake want out of a very lucrative record contract?

  Logan lets out such a weary sigh I actually catch myself feeling a little bad for him.

  But only just a little bit.

  And oh look, the feeling has passed already.

  A breeze blows in between the trees, brushing past me and swirling toward the guys. It’s such a simple thing. It shouldn’t give anything away. But Logan inhales a deep breath and turns instantly in my direction.

  I lean back behind my limited amount of cover. I hear the footsteps and know it’s too little, too late.

  Logan grabs me by my hair, and I curse myself for not thinking to start wearing it in a bun or something. Much harder to grab a handful of. I let him drag me to my feet, hurrying to catch my balance to ease the pain of my hair being pulled. This is why girls always go for the hair when they’re fighting.

  He tugs me past my hiding spot and into the small clearing. I can feel the anger radiating off of him as he manhandles me. I lose my footing and slip on a slick section of dirt, landing hard on the ground. I wince as a tree root digs into the base of my spine.

  “Get up,” Logan snaps as if I threw myself down here on purpose.

  Killian tries to offer me a hand up, but I ignore it in favor of crawling carefully to my feet in a way that ensures I don’t put my back to either of them. The single self-defense class I took last year kicks in, reminding me not to put myself in a vulnerable situation.

  “I told you I heard something,” Killian mutters.

  “You followed me?” Logan asks, his eyes widening slightly with surprised disbelief. He really didn’t think in a million years I’d do something that foolish. Yeah, that makes two of us.

  I ignore Logan, my attention shifting to Killian.

  “I shouldn’t have had to make you get sober,” I point out. “I told Logan four years ago if you didn’t stay clean, it was on him. He had one job to do, and he fucked it up.”

  Logan spits on the ground at my feet.

  I scowl at him, knowing I might as well go all in now. “Don’t start with me. We promised Jamison that his brother would always be taken care of. And you were the one who ran me off. That means it was your job, Logan.”

  “Jamison is gone, Natalie. I don’t think he’s going to mind.” Killian sighs and grinds his toe into the dirt.

  “Right, I forgot that honor goes out the window when someone dies.” I can feel red hot anger bubbling through me, my nose flaring from the pressure of holding so much of it in.

  I guess I’m just supposed to say fuck the fact that Jamison saved us once. Logan, Dash, and me. As if I could ever actually forget that Jamison was the one who saved us from losing each other.

  We were fourteen, being wild little shits because Killian had been torn away for the summer to stay with his dad’s new family in California.

  It was Dash’s idea to have the bonfire in the courtyard of our private school. School was out for the summer, but Dash sweet-talked the headmaster’s daughter into snatching her father’s keys. Dash’s eyes lit up as the fire spiraled out of control. Our classmates realized really damn quickly that there was no containing the damage.

  There was no talking Dash down. I think in reality, he wanted to watch the school burn. He hated the structure. The teachers bossing him around. The pressure from his parents to be better. To be more.

  That fire was a good metaphor for Dash himself. Brilliant and warm but too destructive for its own good.

  Logan called Jamison because, at seventeen, he was the closest thing we had to a trusted adult. The only person who never screwed anything up for us. He was our go-to anytime one of us had a problem. He was Killian’s brother, but in a way he was ours, too. He always dropped everything he was doing, and he did it that night, too.

  When the fire department showed up, Jamison took the blame.

  It was the only thing that saved us. We’d already each been threatened at home about what would happen if we got into trouble together again. The guys would be banished to boarding schools—separate ones—and I would be stuck at home. Homeschooled. An idea my mother loved because it meant there would be more time for filming. Which is exactly why we could never let that happen.

  Jamison saved everything that night. It became a hallmark of his bad boy rockstar persona—his attempts to burn down the establishment.

  The headlines worked in his favor.

  It was just a few months later that Jamison overdosed. So much like Dash—he was there one day and gone the next. We didn’t even know he was struggling. Their mom kept the whole thing under wraps to save both boys’ music careers.

  And in the end that didn’t do either of them a bit of good.

  To hear Killian being so dismissive about his own brother is painful.

  How many times did we all manage to get ourselves sent to rehab to support Killian while he searched for the truth about his brother? I know he buried the hope a long time ago, but I’ve never forgotten what I owe Jamison Lake—what we all owe him. The only thing he ever asked for.

  “What can we do
to thank you?” Logan asked. He had some semblance of manners back then.

  Jamison gave that famous half-smile of his and shook his head. “Just promise me you’ll always look after my brother. He needs someone looking out for him. Killian doesn’t have the kind of fight you do.”

  He looked right at Logan when he said the last part. I always took that to mean Logan was the most responsible for Killian. It was the pattern we naturally fell into. It was the reason I didn’t second-guess leaving with nothing more than a reminder that Logan had to keep living up to the promise.

  I guess promises only live as long as the people we make them to.

  Logan snaps his fingers in front of my face obnoxiously, bringing me back to the present. When I first glance at him, I can almost imagine there’s the slightest hint of guilt in his eyes. If it was there, it’s gone just as fast.

  “Truth or dare?” Logan asks, letting the question hang heavily in the air.

  Killian shuffles his feet, eyes trained on the ground as Logan stares at me, waiting for an answer. He hasn’t commented on what I heard. I’m sure he’s, correctly, assuming that I heard everything.

  If I pick truth, it’s only going to be an excuse for them to pump me for information now that they know I heard them. And if I refuse to talk? Well, I already know those consequences…

  13

  “Dare.”

  Killian and Logan exchange a look that gives them away too easily. They were hoping for truth. Well they can get in line.

  I raise an eyebrow at Logan. After all, he’s technically the one who asked.

  Logan’s lips twitch with humor that doesn’t match the somber mood in the air. Never has our anger at each other been as tangible as it feels now. All of our history is finally bubbling fully to the surface. There’s no hiding from it out here.

  I brace myself for what’s coming. I’m still not ready when he opens his stupid mouth.

  “I dare you to spend the night in Dash’s room.” He laughs, the sound of it like glass shards slicing straight through me.

  A chill runs down my spine.

  Killian shakes his head. “Logan, that’s not—“