Truth (Scandals of Banner-Hill Book 1) Read online

  Killian stomps back into his room and returns faster than I can turn around. He tugs a shirt over his head and jerks his head toward the stairs. It’s too easy to play on his weak spots. Of course he’s not going to direct me towards Logan alone.

  I let Killian lead the way downstairs to the rec room. It’s after dinnertime so there are people milling about, but I pay them little attention. My eyes lock on Logan in the corner, laughing with some other former child athlete as the two of them play pool.

  As we head their direction, the other guy nudges Logan and points to us. Logan says something that sends the guy walking away. By the time Killian and I reach the pool table, the entire room has cleared out.

  Logan wasn’t joking that first day when he said this was his house now. It’s almost impressive how he clears the room without lifting a finger.

  “Truth or dare, Logan,” I say, not giving him a chance to speak first.

  He narrows his eyes as he lines up his last shot, sinking the eight ball straight into the left corner pocket.

  “Dare.”

  He lays the pool cue on the table and looks at me expectantly. I’m sure he’s already suspicious of my intentions, so I don’t bother playing coy.

  “I dare you to go home.”

  “That’s bullshit; that’s not a real dare.”

  “Sure it is.”

  He looks completely perplexed. “But you know I’m not going to do it.”

  I raise my eyebrows just slightly. Yes, I do know that. Dealing with my father might have thrown a wrench in his plans here, but I know Logan. He won’t leave until he’s found a way to earn his trust fund some way or another.

  Logan looks to Killian as if he actually has answers. Killian shrugs, just as confused. He also shoots me a nasty look for good measure.

  If only he had a little more patience.

  I close the distance between Logan and I, reveling in the chance to throw him fully off his game. He doesn’t know what this is, but I do.

  I’ll be gone in just a few hours, leaving outside of the normal discharge hours so I get a head-start before Murphy finds out I’ve left.

  There are so many bad memories I’m going to be forced to carry when I leave this place for the final time. But reality television has taught me that we get to rewrite our own narratives. I don’t want to remember the threesome in the woods that turned into orgy rumors afterward. I don’t want to remember fucking Logan in someone else’s place. And I don’t want to remember Killian dragging me under the spray of the shower to fuck me all for a stupid game.

  I want to take the story back. This time when I leave, I’ll remember the goodbye sex that I chose. This time I get to choose.

  Logan stares dumbstruck at me as I step willingly into his arms. He drags his fingers up my sides as if testing to see how serious I really am about this. He thinks it’s a trap. Hell, maybe it kind of is.

  “What the fuck are you doing, Nat?” He gathers my hair in his fist and pulls it back from my face.

  “I’m changing the game,” I whisper so that he can hear me but Killian can’t.

  Logan looks over my head in Killian’s direction. Under his breath he tells me, “You’re being more fucked up than usual. You sure about this?”

  Instead of answering him, I turn in his arms to face Killian. There’s blind rage in his eyes as he traces all the places my skin is making contact with Logan’s. It’s not normal jealousy. The kind that makes a man claim a woman for himself. It’s the kind of jealousy that comes from not wanting to be left out.

  This was always the problem.

  Just for tonight, I want to pretend it isn’t one.

  “Ask me.”

  “Ask you what?” Killian glares at me, anger built up over the years spilling over again like it did in his bedroom. At least this time there’s no coke.

  “Truth or dare, Killian,” Logan barks out. “Ask her.”

  He doesn’t really seem to understand even as he parrots the words back. “Truth or dare?”

  “Truth.” I raise an eyebrow. I really need him to take a big swing. This won’t be nearly as satisfying if he doesn’t play into the fantasy.

  This game, like it or not, is our thing. It’s the game we played that night in the woods when I orgasmed so many times I was sobbing by the end of it. It really should have been a sign that this version of the game was in full swing when I showed up.

  Like the universe always intended to bring me full circle.

  “Why Ian, Natalie?”

  I shake my head that I’m not going to answer.

  Killian keeps pressing, “Why him? Why could you accept the shit love he offered you, but you wouldn’t let us offer you anything more? He traded you, Nat. You can be pissed off at Logan all you want for winning you, but he wasn’t the one who put you on the table in the first place. Why are you still romanticizing that after all this time?”

  I’m speechless. Painfully speechless.

  I’ve gotten so used to dancing around the fact that I left him. Left both of them, actually. This is the most direct I think Killian has ever been about anything in his life. Much more direct than writing a song that I realize now might have actually been about me rather than Dash.

  “Trade it all for a night. That night turns into your life.” It’s the next line that should have given it away years ago. “You always say it’s the last time.”

  I take a deep breath to ease the sudden ache in my chest.

  That’s not what this night is about. It’s not about feelings. It’s about giving this all its proper ending. Everything today is about goodbye.

  Logan drags his knuckles across my back, the movement so slight I almost don’t realize he’s nudging me forward. Sending me Killian’s way. Logan always has been shit at just about anything but being Killian’s friend. I think he was probably that good of a friend once to Dash, too. All those memories are clouded now by Dash pushing us together. Resenting us. Destroying us.

  Killian is stiff as I wrap my arms behind his neck. I go up on my toes to reach him so I can kiss the corner of his mouth.

  “We both know I’m not answering any of that. But don’t be mad. Not tonight,” I tell him quietly.

  I think he hears the desperation in my voice because it softens him. He turns his head an inch to kiss me full on the mouth. I can hear Logan huff behind me, probably still holding a grudge about how I held out on kissing him until the other night, when I came willingly to him.

  Killian breaks the kiss off well before I’m ready for it to end.

  I stand uncomfortably in place as he walks away. Logan comes to my side and rests his hand on my lower back.

  I’m expecting it to be over before it even starts. Instead, Killian stops at the couch, sheds his belt, and unzips his pants before plopping down in the center, legs spread in invitation. This time, Logan’s way less subtle about pushing me toward him.

  Killian holds my gaze as I go to him. I’m sure it’s on purpose that he’s making me come to him twice.

  I don’t dare complain about the effort, not for this one night.

  I start to kneel between Killian’s legs, but Logan grabs my hips to stop me. I hadn’t even realized he was following me.

  “Bend,” he commands, using one hand to show me how he wants me bent straight over so he’s lined up behind me. I let him move me around like a doll until they both seem satisfied. My hair drapes across Killian’s lap. I wish I had something to tie it up with but Killian doesn’t seem to be complaining.

  He twirls a strand around his finger. An old habit that apparently never died.

  Logan pulls up my dress and pauses. I nearly jump out of my skin when his finger appears out of nowhere to trace the line of the red lace panties around the inside of my thigh.

  “Goddamn,” he groans appreciatively.

  Killian tilts his head to try to see what Logan’s seeing, and Logan makes it easier for him by tugging the dress up until Killian can take over to pull it over my head. His eyes de
vour the bare skin. Logan always appreciated lingerie much more than Killian.

  I can feel the panties sliding off of me, the material tickling my legs as Logan lets them fall the second they’re out of his way.

  When I shiver, Killian puts a hand on the back of my head to encourage me lower in his lap. I brace one arm on his thigh as I use my other hand to work down the waistband of his underwear. I can see him straining against them.

  He groans when his cock finally springs free, centimeters from my lips.

  Logan’s fingers split me down the middle as I wrap my hand around the base of Killian’s velvety cock. I swallow back a smile when he twitches in my hand.

  I moan into Killian’s lap when Logan sinks two fingers into me, his other hand reaching around my hip so he can seek out my clit. Killian takes advantage of my open mouth, sinking his fingers into my hair and jerking me down harder so that my lips wrap around his cock, swallowing the first couple inches as my throat vibrates from my own pleasure.

  Logan knows every dirty trick to make me drip for him.

  I let my tongue graze the underside of Killian’s cock as Logan takes his sweet time finger fucking me until my legs shake. He has to abandon my clit halfway through so he can keep me from collapsing.

  “Stay still a second,” Logan tells me.

  It’s not as easy as it sounds. I’m desperate for friction between my legs as he pulls away, and it feels unnatural to freeze with a cock stuffed halfway down my throat. Killian pumps his hips slightly, testing the limits of what I can take.

  I have to jerk my head back to keep him from legitimately choking me.

  That leaves just the tip of his cock still in my mouth when I hear Logan’s belt clinking against the floor. My ears strain to listen, relaxing only when I hear the distinct sound of a condom wrapper being opened.

  I let my mouth sink down over Killian again as Logan resumes his place behind me. It feels like there’s been weeks of foreplay instead of just a few minutes. I’m more than ready for him when he buries himself inside of me.

  I moan around Killian’s cock, and he responds by throwing his head back with a groan. His grip on my hair loosens so he can lace his hands around the back of my head and control my pace.

  That control is short-lived. As Logan starts to thrust inside me, my mouth has to move in sync with him. I make all kind of strange moaning noises as I try to keep up between the two of them. Neither one seems content with the initial pace.

  Logan squeezes my hips as he fucks me hard, my legs barely doing any of the work to hold me up as I lose all feeling below my pussy.

  I do my best to keep the pace around Killian’s cock, but the result is sloppy and erratic. Based on the way he groans my name like a prayer, I don’t think he really minds. My hand, my tongue, and my lips move together to work him into a frenzy.

  Killian is the first to cum.

  He starts to say something—I think to warn me—but he chokes on the words instead as a roaring noise rips out of him. I do my best to swallow what I can but I still wince at the mess that ends up covering Killian’s lap.

  Killian tilts my chin up so I’m looking at him, his softened cock slipping out of my mouth.

  I don’t really know what does it but that’s the moment I crack. A wave of pleasure tears through me, my pussy clenching like a vice around Logan’s dick as I whine out a whole slew of nonsensical noises.

  I barely hang onto my senses enough to make sure I don’t call out either of their names. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did.

  Killian has to put his hands on my shoulders to steady me so I don’t collapse completely as Logan thrusts into me hard several more times before he gets his turn. He grunts when his cock twitches, and he slows to glacial speed as he cums.

  He lets go of my hips as he pulls out, and my legs give out from under me. I collapse in a heap at Killian’s feet, panting to try to catch my breath.

  And then the rec room door opens.

  Lynne’s eyes go painfully wide as she takes the scene in.

  I glance over to see Logan nonchalantly tuck himself back into his pants. Killian has the decency to act embarrassed, but Logan looks completely nonplussed by the last minute interruption.

  Killian leans forward to grab my dress and hand it to me.

  Lynne averts her eyes but doesn’t leave the room. I can tell she’s battling with herself about how to handle this. I also know her morals are going to win out. That’s exactly why I made sure Siobhan would tell Lynne there was an issue in the rec room.

  Logan and Killian are my ticket to a late night exit.

  The thing with having money is that rules have a tendency to seem flexible. Things like disciplinary panels seem far-fetched. Like something that would only exist for other people. It actually takes more work to get other people to follow the rules than it would to get out of the consequences altogether.

  When I step in front of the disciplinary panel with Logan and Killian on either side of me, Sascha looks like he’s nearly ready to have a stroke.

  What can I say? I like surprising people.

  The disciplinary panel is almost a myth for how few times it’s ever been used. It’s only Lynne’s insistence that gets us put before a panel at all. I think the fact that I don’t dare open my mouth to complain tips her off that I haven’t ended up in this situation by accident.

  She’s a smart lady.

  It takes five staff members to host a disciplinary hearing. Sitting along one side of a conference table are Lynne, Dr. Cruise, Sascha, and one of the night security guards that I’ve somehow never met. He’s obviously not very good at his job considering how often I’ve managed to sneak around here unbothered.

  We have to stand in front of the four of them until a fifth person arrives…

  Nick.

  He hesitates in the doorway, his face paling when he realizes it’s me he’s been called in for. His eyes pan across the men on either side of me. He knows enough to know about my connection to the two of them. The basics, anyway.

  You learn a lot more than you realize about a person when you’re sneaking around and scheming together.

  The whole thing barely takes any time once Nick reluctantly takes his seat.

  Lynne explains—in as polite terms as possible—our infraction of the rules. Then we’re each offered a chance to speak up. Killian shakes his head to skip his turn. I follow suit. Logan smirks and waves his hand for them to carry on.

  They already know how easy it will be for their parents to make one call and erase whatever this panel decides.

  The whole thing plays right into my hands.

  “Actually, I’d like to take full responsibility,” I announce, stepping forward to put the slightest distance between me and the guys. I want the panel to separate us in their minds. “I encouraged Logan and Killian to break the rules. You can check my file—I’ve been a habitual rule breaker for as long as I’ve been coming here.”

  A whoosh of air leaves Killian. He didn’t see this one coming.

  I fight the urge to glance back for Logan’s reaction.

  The whole conference room descends into silence. I’ve managed to confuse a lot of people. Now I need them to vote in my favor—or rather, I need them to vote against me.

  Lynne’s eyes meet mine with gentle understanding. Whatever my reasons, I know I have her support. This is a small thing she can do for me to ease her conscious about being manipulated by my father.

  Her eyes stay on me as she speaks. “I propose Miss Adams be dismissed immediately from our facility. I think it’s in everyone’s best interest that she return home or to another facility more equipped to handle her treatment.”

  There’s another awkward silence before Sascha takes charge.

  “Let’s put it to a vote.” Sascha nods for the security guard to vote first. The poor guy looks confused as hell. I’m sure it’s been well drilled into his head by now not to fuck with the kind of people who become patients here. Working secu
rity in a place like this is more about appearances than anything.

  “No?” he says, sounding completely unsure.

  “One and one, then.” Sascha goes down the row. “Dr. Cruise?”

  “No,” he answers much quicker than the guard did. I’m not surprised at all by his vote. I’m sure in his mind he can earn my gratitude and then pump me for gossip about the show if I stay.

  Sascha widens his eyes slightly at me. He’s going to vote on my behalf, and he’s looking for confirmation about what I need. I bounce my eyes quickly from him to Lynne as a go-ahead for him to vote that I leave.

  “I vote in favor,” Sascha says.

  Every pair of eyes in the room turns to Nick. His vote will be the deciding one.

  “The vote is tied. Mr. Barnes?”

  Nick stares out at me with anger and betrayal in his eyes. I hold my breath and wait for him to speak. It would be easy for him to fuck this plan up, but I’m really hoping he doesn’t.

  Everyone is waiting.

  Nick averts his eyes, staring at the wall as he seals my fate. “Goodbye, Miss Adams.”

  21

  A thunderstorm sweeps in the day of my father’s funeral.

  I sit in the second row behind Anita and Madison as they lower a casket into the ground. I don’t know whose body is being buried, but I’m the only one that knows it isn’t Ken Adams.

  I forgo an umbrella, choosing instead to let fat raindrops hit me, destroying my hair and makeup but also hiding my lack of tears. People keep staring at me, waiting for a show of emotion that I can’t stomach faking.

  Let them say what they want. I’d rather be forever deemed a cold bitch than pretend to mourn that man. If it were really him in the casket, I’d already be trying to dance on his grave.

  Murphy keeps his distance but never strays far enough for me to be out of his sight. I do my best to ignore him. He’s still holding a grudge about me leaving Banner-Hill with no warning. He only found out along with everyone else because the tabloids caught pictures of me coming out of a lawyer’s office the next day.